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BigMel@askbigmel.com

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Q. What's up with wives who don't give h**d?

A. I have some assumptions here. (1) She didn't do it before AND (2) You thought 'Heck, a little reach around or maybe even the real deal will  be ok. I don't need to receive.'

Well my sad sad poor deprived friend... sucks to be you... No pun intended. Well... yeah.. pun intended. I'm sure this isn't new news. C'mon, what were you thinking? Did you think she'd grow to be the knobschlobber over time? So now what. Will she allow you to get it another way? Might as well ask. Maybe that will make her want to do it. Or she'll be so pissed off at you you'll have to sleep on the couch. If that's the case, don't forget to bring a clean sock!

Q. Tell me the craziest thing you've done.

A. Sorry deary but anything I say can be held against me in a court of law... But fserious, I would have to make you sign a NDA cause there is no way I'm putting anything in writing w/o making sure if you got me by the short hairs that I have some of yours in my hands too.

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